Pure Magnolias

Maybe one day I’ll see you again

They’ll announce my entrance, my wings curling around me as I step on the clouds.

I’ll see you across the horizon, glowing like you always do. 

I’ll run to you and you’ll stay still, just like you always do.

“I’m not a hugger, baby.” You’ll claim. 

I’ll smile and nod, giving you space. Just like I always do.

I’ll love you for forever and one, and leave you be when you need.

But a thought in the back of my mind screams..

Am I still the one you need? 

I give you gifts and I care

But you still stare,

At the girl across the lake.

The girl I used to be. 

Oh Liora, my love in darkness.

I’ll wait for you forever, 

Just to see your eyes again.

The bright blue of waves crashing on the shore,

Your incandescent glow which never wavers.

You were always dancing, floating above all.

The lace in which we discovered by the lake has turned to gold,

I’ll eulogize you forever and ever, never leave the spot of darkness untouched.

In every lifetime I’ll love you as the moon loves the stars,

As beguiling as the willow trees that sway in the breeze, knocking over the house we should’ve never called home.

Oh Liora, I’ll wait for you where the roots meet the bones

With such honesty, I’m a prayer for you.

I’ll kneel at your feet only if you were to see me.

Not yet the person I wish to be, but maybe the person I wish for you.

And maybe once you’re better, the wisteria will have fully consumed me.

But I would wish to be stone if only you would touch me.

Oh Liora, your honesty and grace.

I’ll wait for you as long as it takes.

Indelible.

I see you in my dreams-

Though not the good ones.

You show up and beg for me back yet I can’t speak.

I can’t tell you how much I love you,

How I miss the feeling of your hugs,

How I deeply wish to kiss you again.

I reach out for you in the shadows.

I see you even with the lights off.

The curse is flawless,

You shout out, oh help me get out

Out of the subway,

The place you figured it all out..

Oh I did.

I left you kneeling down,

I thought I helped it,

But made it worse year round!

Well, I’ll be waiting,

For you to just come around.

Oh I’ll be waiting,

I might just take the train south.

I wake up screaming,

It takes all of my heart to let it go.

You are indelible.

The Morning After You Left

The morning after you left, everything was the same.

Your clothes still hanging haphazardly on the chair,

Your bedsheets still unmade, your scent stuck to the fabric

Your dog scratches at the window, only he knows what happened

The letters you wrote, stained with tears, sit on your nightstand waiting for somebody to find them.

You left a mark that will be erased.

Every smell, every trace,

Of you is fading, like your soul.

You had a life to live, you had a purpose to serve

Your mom is in the kitchen, calling the police

She’s on her knees, crying about her baby.

Your dad is holding her, unable to keep from ripping the walls to shreds.

The police show up.

A month later they’re still hanging up photos.

You may think you helped, but you didn’t.

You passed the pain on, not removed it.

They still celebrate your birthday.

Except it’s different.

No one goes in your room, your door locked.

Your bedsheets are clean of your smell, a clean bed that doesn’t hold your shape anymore.

Your dog claws at the door, he misses your hugs.

You never rid of the pain, you lit it on fire and gave it to another.

It’s a burning sensation, the feeling of not knowing you completely.

Not knowing what hurt you, what I could’ve done.

I can’t help you anymore. 

I need to move on.

We will celebrate your birthday in a year and hang out in your room. 

Your bedsheets will be crumpled from sitting on them with mom and dad.

The same photos will be up from last year.

We can’t rid of the pain, put the matches out no matter how hard we try.

We can always use somebody like you.

But your rid of you.

No trace of the lace

No trace of the lace
She’s different now
Now she’s special
Goes out downtown.
No trace of the lace
She parades around
Acting all high and mighty,
Standing tall with a ‘crown’.
Her crown is made with blood sweat and tears.
Its jewels are melted betrayal
The gold made of discarded souls.
She’s the girl she’s always been,
Down deep inside she cares.
But she throws on the act,
Puts on her crown
And parades through the town
With no trace of the lace..

The Dance of Life

I walk alone a path of grime,

I walk again it time to time.

I sleep upon the river’s edge. I come to a realization.

Listen to the voices in your head,

Let yourself go, you never know what you’ll find.

Let yourself go, get out time to time.

Life’s too short to not have fun.

Romanticize the work, make it yours.

Get what you want, achieve your dreams.

Don’t be left behind, make yourself your own brand of human.

Don’t. Regret. It.

Listen to the trees, the breeze,

The challenge, the ease.

Listen to it.

Listen.

Let it out, take it in,

Live a life, start what hasn’t begun

You never know what you’ll find.

Check the temperature with the goal of drowning,

Awaken your senses, climb the mountain of anger you couldn’t get over.

Come to a realization,

Don’t regret it.